The Leahy Lounge

LONDON (Reuters) - Do you have memories of being abducted by aliens and whisked away in a spaceship?You wouldn't be alone. Several thousand people worldwide claim to have had such close encounters, researchers say. But in a new study, a psychology expert at London's Goldsmiths College says these experiences are proof of the frailty of the human memory, rather than evidence of life in other galaxies.

Morris Clamchow of WhiteCloud, Montana believes the study is flawed. "It's total bullshit. Those English pricks over there don't have any idea what it's like to get a two foot alien probe shoved up their backside. I could barely walk for days. Where do those ass-faced academics get off telling me who did or didn't probe me?"

When informed about Mr. Clamchow's encounter, Josh Braintree, who headed up the Goldsmiths College Alien Abduction Study, replied, "That's gay." When told about Professor Braintree's reply, Mr. Clamchow retorted, "He's gay."

It seems the Alien Abduction phenomenon will remain a mystery for the foreseeable future.