The Leahy Lounge

ROME (Reuters) - The city of Rome has banned goldfish bowls, which animal rights activists say are cruel, and has made regular dog-walks mandatory in the Italian capital, the town's council said Tuesday. Italian animal rights activists hailed the move. "It's about time," Antionette Marici of Empower Fish Now said. "At least in an aquarium, fish have space to hide. There's no privacy in a bowl. Many of these bowl-bound goldfish develope self-esteem issues." Marici recommends rectangular aquariums for goldfish of at least 100 gallon capacity per fish. Alternatively, pet retailers in Rome now offer bowls with tinted glass so the fish can see out but outsiders cannot see in. These tinted bowls provide the privacy necessary for the rearing of well-adjusted goldfish, according to Marici. "Back when goldfish bowls were legal, " Marici added, "thousands of these psychologically tortured creatures would flip themselves out their bowls and die horrible deaths gasping for water on dry carpets or tiled floors."

Last June, Marici was arrested in Rome in a goldfish rescue attempt gone horribly wrong. She broke into an apartment to discover a suicidal goldfish sucking air on the carpet outside its bowl. Marici quickly filled her mouth with tap water and attempted mouth to mouth on the dying fish. Marici has performed hundreds of these maneuvers, but this time she inadvertently sucked the tiny goldfish into her mouth and swallowed it. When asked about the incident by our LLWHQ correspondent, Ms. Marici had no comment but gazed wistfully out the window--a single tear welled up in her eye. Today, thanks to Rome's town council, Marici's tear will not have been shed in vain.