The Leahy Lounge

Chip Margolious, the young boy whose deft manuevering allowed him to seize control of the Leahy Lounge last week, has died in a freak accident at Ray Spark's Jungle Golf miniature golf course and all you can eat sushi buffet on 19th Street. Margolious was apparently attempting to ride a plaster of paris giraffe when the apparatus collapsed, crushing his auburn-locked head and killing him instantly. Ignoring repeated warnings from the ghost of his father, Chip just couldn't resist sticking his finger in the socket of life.

Editorial: Few were upset upon hearing of Chip's demise. He had become a ruthless and petty bully, drunk with power and enamored with his own mundane daily activities. Readership plunged 90% over the Thanksgiving holiday, and the Lounge facilities are covered in silly string.