The Leahy Lounge

11/17/2005 - 19:31:59 William Shatner is hoping to persuade medics who removed his kidney stone to hand it over so he can sell it on auction site eBay. The actor, who played Captain James T. Kirk on Star Trek, claimed the stone will become "the ultimate piece of Star Trek memorabilia." When told by our Lounge correspondent that eBay has strict rules about the sale of body parts, Shatner screamed, "Khaaaaaaan!!!", then stormed out of the interview.

His agent referred us to Shatner's brother Buddy Shatner, who manages all of William Shatner's memorabilia businesses. "Oh, yeah, the kidney stone will be huge. Twenty or thirty grand minimum," Buddy chortled. "Last year, we sold limited edition bronze William Shatner Deathmasks on eBay and made a killing. I'm talking KILLING. Think low to mid six figures. Each mask came with a certificate stating that while Billy is still living, the expression on the mask will substantially represent his actual face upon death. The public ate it up. Couldn't get a freaking nuff of em."

When we informed Buddy Shatner about eBay's restrictions on the sale of body parts, he shot back, "I don't give a flying f***. I'll sell the goddamn stone in Japan." Our research shows it won't be the first time the Shatners have sold body parts of Star Trek cast members in Asia. Before agreeing to do any of the Star Trek feature films, Shatner made many of the cast members sign over to him rights to their internal organs after death. The recent death of actor James Doohan, who played Chief Engineer Scotty on Star Trek, proved a windfall for the Shatners.

"Oh yeah, we were just sick over Jimmy's death. But, you know, we had buyers lined up and had to move body parts," Buddy Shatner explained. "I believe the liver and spleen went to an investor in Singapore, heart to Japan and lungs to Taiwan. It was sad in a way. We had to take out most of Jimmy's innards. They had to stuff the corpse with foam insulation for the wake. But I'll tell you this, Jimmy still made a beautiful corpse.....looked just like an angel lying there."

When our Lounge correspondent asked Buddy Shatner whether he thought there might eventually be some sort of fan backlash against William Shatner's seemingly greedy opportunism, he snapped, "Listen, cheese dick, you aint seen nothing. You haven't heard the last from Billy Shatner."