The Leahy Lounge

Fresh off the call-girl scandal that cost him his governorship, Eliot Spitzer was caught last night raping the corpse of Ernest Gary Gygax, co-creator of 'Dungeons & Dragons' and father of the role-playing game. Authorities were tipped off by a bank employee after a mysterious transfer of funds from a Spitzer account for the purchase of "several hundred lemons".

"I went over that sad ass fairy like a f***ing steamroller!" Spitzer chortled. Relatives of Gygax were saddened but not surprised by the news. Spitzer's wife, Silda Wall Spitzer, looked resigned at a late afternoon press conference. If the incident were ever to go to trial, it is anticipated that Spitzer's attorney, Michele Hirshman, would use the 'traditional raping of the corpse' defense.